Never let your fear decide your fate.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Boats, Stereotypes, Zombie Land

       Imagine Christianity as a boat sitting next to a dock. It sits on a lake, that can either shimmer with blue

Or it can be a green, murky mess.

Three Types of Teenagers
     On-Board Christian: They have both feet on the boat. They participate in church every Sunday, they read their Bible. They are generally nice, and there's not a lot of judging going on.

     Off-Board Christian: They have both feet off the boat, whether it's on the dock, or in the water. They do whatever they want, whenever they want, pretending to be an On-Board Christian for certain authority figures in their lives.

     Halfsie-Christian: They have one foot on the boat, and one on the dock. They go to church every Sunday, sometimes choosing to participate. They do whatever they want, whenever they want UNTIL a Jesus Kick* interrupts their real desires.

Jesus Kick: When some sort of "supernatural" or other occurence takes a Halfsie-Christian to a On-Board Christian. They leave their Off-Board Christian friends in the dust.

An interesting fact about Jesus Kicks: Halfsie-Christians don't know they're on one, until it wears off.

And believe me, it always wears off.

Now, riddle me this,
When the boat starts to sail away, which way will the Halfsie-Christian lunge? If they are on a current Jesus Kick, it is most likely they will lunge back on the boat, where everything is safe.

If a Jesus Kick is absent, they will lunge toward the dock.

How many times can they do this, before they fall into the green, murky water that reaches for them?

How many times will they drop their Off-Board Christian friends, and still be able to win them back?

Now, I have no problem with On-Board Christians.

Nor do I have any issues with Off-Board Christians.

Halfsie-Christians are the ones that simply... need to nut up or shut up.*

On-Board Christians will take you back as many times as you ask.

Off-Board Christians... won't.

Because and Off-Board Christian can see right through your facade.

#1. They will no longer trust you.
#2. They know in about 3 months or so, you will screw them over again.

Religion's a blast and a half, ain't it?

If anything in the post reminded you of yourself: Congratulations. Hopefully you will see that I am brilliant, and that you should give me money. And presents.

But...if the Halfsie-Christian stereotype reminded you of yourself...

Please, for the love of Pete, don't speak to me about this post.

Don't speak to me at all.

**"Nut up or shut up."--Zombie Land Do something about it, or shut yo mouth.

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