Never let your fear decide your fate.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Sickening Statusi and Tank Top Tools

Blogging is for squares. I, however, am exempt.

I have two things to whine about....I mean.
Blog about.


Everytime I see a girl's status that says,
"So happy :)" or
"Tonight was a good night (:"

That is 100% of the time related to a boy. Whether the boy talked to them, hung out with them, proposed to them, whatever. It's about a boy.

And I think they need to man up, and tag the bro in it. Seriously. I will give you two examples. One that is acceptable. And one that is not.
I just watched Fight Club, so these are the names I shall use.

Had a great night with @Tyler Durdan(*) and @Marla Singer! So happy! :)

*--Tyler Durdan is the reason you are happy.
(In actual status use, do NOT use the asterisk or footnote...retard)
Also, you are probably Edward Norton, and you are probably a schizo. Nbd.

OMGZ I HAD THE PERF3CT N1GHT!1!11! @Tyler Durdan* knows why ;) :)

*Tyler Durdan will be freaked out. Especially with the use of that winky face.
(Again, in actual status use, do NOT use the asterisk or footnote...retard.)

So, please. No more mysterious, girly statusi. I'm gonna be sick.


Tuesday morning, I arrive at school at 7:35am. A boy catches my eye, wearing a tank top.
Now sure, I've seen plenty hipster boys in their tank tops, skinny jeans, and toms, in Grandview, or concerts.

Not. At. Blue. Valley. Highschool.
These boys wear football jerseys and basketball shorts.

So I brush it off. Thinking, "That kid's a tool. Lolol."

Then I see another.
And another.
Then five.

8 boys wearing tank tops.
The more I count, the more I see. It's 4th period, and I've counted 18 tank top tools.

I am disgusted. They are not hipsters. They are not folk.
They are trying too hard, and ruining this hipster look for me.

I think to myself, "Well. What a weird coincidence for them all to wear a tank top today. It's gotten a bit hotter, but not by a whole lot. Those kids are tools."

I may have voiced the above to the girl next to me.

She turns to me and says,
 "Emily, it's tank top Tuesday. Every Tuesday the boys wear tank tops."

Long story short, Tuesday is now my least favorite day of the week. And if I see that you are participating, I will not speak with you.

Peace out, bros.

No comments:

Post a Comment